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Kate is back with her very funny take on trick-or-treating… enjoy!
Halloween night for kids is that one night of the year where all they have to do is dress up in a fun costume, ring their neighbors’ doorbells and bam! Free candy! Well, the whole “candy” part of that equation sometimes gets lost on adults, apparently.
Upon the door being opened, it’s mandatory to say “trick-or-treat!” Therefore implying that if I don’t get my treat, I may do something that you wouldn’t appreciate. For example, I could toilet paper your house, shave your cat, dye your dog, and well… I think you get the point.
Here is a small list of things that do not count as treats:
-Pencils, I get it’s cheap and all, but really? I mean, really??? We don’t want to be reminded of school on this fun, spooky night.
-Toothbrushes or dental floss, so you think “These kids are going to be getting a whole bunch of candy that will rot their teeth, I think I will give them dental hygiene products!” Just no. With this type of “treat” (not that it is one), you are sure to get a trick in return.
-Chips or pretzels, while I get the point of trying to balance out all the other candy, no one is going to consider that a treat, seriously people.
-Any candy that is not in a sealed package, I don’t know about everyone else’s parents, but I know my mom always goes through our candy in such a detailed manner I’m surprised she doesn’t send it through an x-ray machine before we are cleared to eat it. Candy that is either not in it’s own packaging (i.e. loose candy corn), or in a package that isn’t sealed shut and is just twisted at the ends, does not make the security check around here.
-Gum, I absolutely hate getting gum when I’m trick-or-treating. What’s the point? Sure, Double Bubble is awesome and what not, but just no. It isn’t candy. Treat = Candy. Nothing else.
It’s not too hard to please the kids, just go buy a bag of mixed candy to hand out, trust me it’s better to just allow the kids to have a night filled with candy that will probably last until Thanksgiving, than to try and benefit their health in some way, or to supplement with other things that are not candy or chocolate.
Who am I kidding? You are going to give out whatever you want to because in this day and age if someone tries to “trick” you, it’ll most likely end up with the police involved, and the trick-er will end up with a criminal charge on a record that may or may not be sealed, and there goes college.
